People come as packages. They come with baggages. But be careful what you're dealing with, because you might be dealing with an unseen plus one. So to start things off, I met a guy. We'll call him Box for conversation's sake. And no, it's not the same guy from the last post, and that guy, we'll call Notepad. This is a different guy. Notepad, the guy from the last post basically rejected me, and yes, I confessed to him (more about it in a future post). So Box was someone I technically knew but have not spoken to until recently. And when we actually "met", it was refreshing. It started with a comment that one of us off-handedly made that lead to a question that lead to many more questions. And the conversations that those questions opened lasted for a good two weeks. There was playful banter. There was a bit of confidence. Maybe because he was practically a stranger that gave me the confidence to say things I would seldom tell anyone without being asked. We discovered that we had many things in common. We had the same interests. And we shared a certain type of communal humour. And our conversation was responsive. It was enigmatic. For a time, it was something I looked forward to answering in the morning. For a time, it was what kept both of us awake at night. But it was too good to be true. On the fortnight of our back-and-forth conversations, I found out he was seeing somebody. And I... I felt betrayed. I didn't feel for him the same kind of romantic interest as I did for Notepad, no. But still, I felt betrayed. We were talking late to the night often. The subject of romance had come about on the first week or so but he never mentioned it. To another onlooker (a.k.a. a close friend of mine to whom I've ranted this story to), some exchanges may even be considered flirting. People,I felt like I had done a girl I don't even know, wrong. And I'll admit, I started blaming myself a little. I thought that if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't appreciate my boyfriend talking to someone else, everyday, and late into the night. Heck, I don't even know if his girlfriend knows about us talking. But as I ranted all this to my friend, said friend told me, "Stop the pity-party and move on. In your defense, you didn't know. And now, you've realised the situation you've been put in, what are you gonna do next?" I feel a tinge of guilt saying this but to be honest, I wasn't sure of what to do. I knew the same frequency of talks in the same manner could no longer continue, but I didn't want to just suddenly ghost him. He was shaping up to be a too-good-to-be-true potential friend. We liked the same things and we could both be engaged in conversations for hours. But at the same time, he had a girlfriend. I shouldn't be frequently talking to guys who are taken, especially when their girlfriends most likely don't know about it. It was a tough decision but it had to be done. First... I limited my replies to be strictly within a certain period of time-- daytime a la business hours. I did that for about two days-- but having that knowledge weighing down on me was not something I could easily ignore. And so, Second... I weaned off the conversation. i stopped asking questions. I gave replies that were less open-ended, impervious to further questioning. And finally, two days later, the conversation ceased. It's been a few days now since then. I feel like I did the right thing. Though I admit that I can't help but feel a certain amount of regret that our friendship had been such short-lived. But I tried and felt, still feel, that I no longer can talk to him with the same amount of enthusiasm and confidence as I did before I found out he had a girlfriend--- and so no matter how wasteful our friendship has become, I still think that this was the best way to go. What do you think about this situation? Anything else I could've done differently? Please let me know in the comments section below.
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