No, that XX does not connote something dirty. . You're smart, figure it out. And because it's a new year, the regenerative energy is in the air; and also as with every year, the challenge is staying true to those promises we make today, up to the start of the next new year. All that being said, here are my New Year's Resolutions: 1. |
and you know what? | All of this feels shitty. And, I hate it. And I couldn't concentrate very well because of it, because I want to help better the fuck darn situation so bad but what can I actually do to actually help? Nothing, that's what. And that's shitty x2 which makes me feel shitty^4. And I'm complaining about all of it in a blog posts so fuck that. Fuck. I couldn't even concentrate on preparing for the interview. I hope I don't fuck it up, though, for all my luck's worth. Fuck me. Firetruck. I'm exhausted. My family's exhausted. A fast-forward button like in Sims would be super handy right now. |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ |
I pray every single night too and legit believe that whatever happens, happens and would serve a purpose in the future even if that purpose doesn't get realised 'til years later. Praying is keeping me a percentage amount of sane and calm too.
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Anyways, the videos below are some gospel songs that I accidentally listened to thanks to my mom's nightly habit of leaving YouTube open at night and on auto-play. I honestly haven't heard the below songs in a long while but I'm so glad I got to hear them again especially in the lurid state I was sinking into because of the not-so-good bombs I got subjected to today. I'd like to believe that me accidentally listening to these songs tonight aren't much of accidents--- but divine reminders not to lose faith... not ever.
the lines highlighted in green ARE REPRESENTATIVE TO WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW.
THE LINES HIGHLIGHTED in orange are the little notes from above that i got reminded of today...
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (Calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Because Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you
You are...
(SOURCE: CLICK HERE)
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control
Oh, oh
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
Oh, oh, oh, oh
From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit [x2]
One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there
You are already there
(SOURCE: CLICK HERE)
God, you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find you
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of Heaven and Earth
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
Though my heart is torn
(Though my heart is torn)
I will praise you in this storm
(Praise you in this storm)
(SOURCE: CLICK HERE)
And to top it all off, this incident hit very close to home as, I, myself, am an expatriate at a foreign country, the UAE, and have been so for quite a lengthy amount of time. However, until now, I am not capable of holding a conversation in Arabic. Therefore, have I neglected my social responsibility to the language? Or can my situational reasoning make up for its lack thereof?
Jiwan Kim auditioned as a magician at Pilipinas Got Talent. During the initial interview, we find out that Jiwan has been living as an expat in the Philippines for 10 years; and, he has a Filipina girlfriend. That's all well and good until he asks Judge Robin Padilla to be the participant in his magic trick attempt. At first, Robin refuses for he insists that Jiwan should speak Tagalog as he is, afterall, in Pilipinas Got Talent. Jiwan eventually gets to perform the magic trick, however, with the help of Judge Angel Locsin who translates his words to Tagalog so that he can use them to speak to Robin. After the performance and before the Yes/No voting started, Robin expressed his apologies to how harsh he might've sounded, saying that it was just a disciplining act 'from father to son'. He even goes on to praise Jiwan for being able to perform under pressure. And with that, Jiwan was accepted onto the next round after a Yes from 3 out of 4 judges. And no, that no did not come from Robin, but from Judge Freddie M. Garcia (commonly referred to as simply Judge FMG).
As expected, the incident blew up online and many criticised Robin for being "racist and rude". The audition video (posted above) is also now trending on Youtube.
WHEW! That was a lot, but here's more. Now that I've introduced to you the situation, I want to dissect the incident further to determine whether the reactions presented in this event are rightfully justified or simply unnecessary.
Point #1: Language
Let's get technical:
- Language use #1: "Robin, can I use you?" Jiwan asked of Robin upon approaching the judges' table. "Robin" and "can I use you?" if I may say, is a rather explosive combination.
- First, let's deal with "Robin". The problem is evident at first glance: it lacks the usage of honorifics. In the Philippines, it is basic manners to refer to an elderly male as Kuya. Angel pointed this out when she taught Jiwan how to rephrase the request in Tagalog starting with "Kuya Robin...". At the very least, Jiwan could've referred to Robin as Mr or Sir in order to show respect. The usage of honorifics is a highly-valued trait in both Filipino and Korean cultures so, Jiwan doesn't really have an excuse for skipping this one.
- "Can I use you?" sounds off in multiple levels. First, a "please" could've been placed there. That would've made it sound more like a request, rather than a rhetorical question. Second, in 3:10-3:15 of the video, just after Jiwan rephrases his request in Tagalog, Robin agrees and says, "Sige, gamitin mo ako..." Okay, it's a direct translation of Jiwan's request in agreement form: "Can I use you? (Pwede ba kitang gamitin?)" to which the answer was "Sure, use me. (Sige, gamitin mo ako.)" As a Filipino, I recognise the misunderstanding here because "to use" someone is rarely a nice sentiment in the Philippines. "To use someone" or "Ang paggamit ng isang tao" have negative connotations and are only ever used for cases such as using someone for personal gain. To avoid the blunder, Jiwan could've instead phrased his question as: "Kuya/Mr/Sir Robin, may I (please) ask/request you to participate in my act?"
* Kuya/Mr/Sir: the usage of honorifics to recognise
that Robin is older and demands respect.
* "May" not "can": because even if he could, may he? * (Please): it's in parenthesis because if he asked the
question like so, it would've been alright even if
'please' was left out.
* Ask/request and to participate: just word
suggestions that aren't as negatively charged as
"use" when asking of a person.
(The previous phrase is my suggestion to what Jiwan could've said in English and its Tagalog translation is closely similar to what Judge Angel told him to say in Tagalog, instead (it's 2:43-3:12 in the video): "Kuya Robin, pwedeng makahingi ng tulong sayo? Pwede mo ba akong samahan?" (Kuya Robin, may I ask for your help? Can you come with me?))
Keep those in mind and read Robin's statement about the incident during the press conference of his new show, Sana Dalawa Ang Puso:
- "Uutusan mo kami." to which the direct translation is closer to "To order us." and not "tell us" as Rappler played it down to.
Remember what I said about the difference between a request and a rhetorical question? How about the usage of honorifics? If you answer yes to both then good because, my theory is that Robin was ticked off by that initial question, "Robin, can I use you?" which could be why he was so "harsh" to Jiwan in the following scenes. The question had not been respectful. Language isn't even the case here anymore, it factors in more towards recognition and observance of social cues. To me, it mattered less that Jiwan could not speak Tagalog, I'm not one to judge because I can't speak Arabic either. However, I believe that he deserves criticism for how he said what he said to an elderly Filipino in a Filipino TV show in the Philippines for he has lived in the country long enough (plus, has a Filipina girlfriend) to be able to know how to respectfully ask locals requests. Point said; onto the next case. - Language use #2: He didn't say 'po' or 'opo'. Again, related to the whole honorifics narrative. Would it have made a difference for Jiwan? I don't know. If he used 'po' or 'opo', would Judge Robin not have scolded him? Nobody knows for certain. At the very least, he could've gone off with a lighter scolding.
- Language use #3: I was reading through the comments section of the video on YouTube and Jiwan's defenders made a fair point. If one were to insist that contestants should speak Tagalog in Pilipinas Got Talent because the show's name says Pilipinas Got Talent, then shouldn't the show be named Pilipinas May Talento or Pilipinas Meyroong Talento? Petty point, maybe, but fair nontheless. If anyone knows the answer, please enlighten me.
- Language use #4: Okay, let's think about the name "Pilipinas Got Talent" again. It's an excellent example of Taglish, certainly, but it is also representative of the Philippines' official languages which are both Filipino and English. (Please don't ask me about the definitive differences between Tagalog and Filipino and when you should use one over the other, I'll share it with you when I've fully figured it out myself.)
Having said that, some people may argue that Jiwan was not at fault for not being able to communicate in Tagalog. Furthermore, English being an official language in the country, the vast majority of the viewers can speak and understand English anyways-- so what was there to argue about in the first place?
Well, I guess the public's rebuttal is that Jiwan said things like, "Korean but a Filipino at heart," and then continued to make similar comments about loving the Philippines. If he was as "Filipino" as he claimed to be, then why can't he use the language?
Indeed, no one else could answer that question other than Jiwan himself BUT should he be judged if most people don't think that his response is validated or justified? No, I don't believe so. - Language use #5: Judge Robin Padilla's tone and non-verbal cues while 'scolding' Jiwan. Whether you understand what Robin's saying or not during 3:18-3:45 of the video above, you can get a sense of what's taking place.
The firm, orderly tone that was used, combined with the finger-pointing, chest expansions, and the intimidating eye contact connotes to aggression and intimidation in pure Alpha male form. In other words, I could only imagine how it must've felt like to be at the receiving end of that; I know I would've been stunned witless. As for what Robin said, and I quote:
"Ijo, Pilipinas Got Talent, mag-tagalog ka kasi magmumukha kaming katawatawa kung mag-iingles kami dito para sa iyo. Pilipinas Got Talent, mag-tagalog ka, ijo."
(Young lad, Pilipinas Got Talent, speak in Tagalog because we would look laughable if we would speak English here just for you. Pilipinas Got Talent. Speak in Tagalog, young lad.)
Patriotism is clear in his words, and I do agree that it could've been delivered more diplomatically. In verbatim, I don't have much problems with it other than that because remember, Robin Padilla is a well-known action star. Being tough and intimidating is ingrained in his image and persona. In other words, his undiplomatic choice of phrasing could possibly be passed off as nothing out of the ordinary. Having said those, we now shift to the question of: was it necessary?
point#2: Live humiliation
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Perhaps, yes.
While writing this post, I opened up the topic with a friend of mine, explained to her what had happened, and shared with her these, my opinions on the topic. And, she was actually the one who told me the answer to the question above. She said, "I'm assuming that partially, he (Robin) would make it such a big deal for more publicity, everyone loves a little heat and drama."
Ahhh yes, whilst getting triggered over this whole event, I forgot that PGT isn't live and all the auditions that occur aren't shown on TV. Let's say that Judge Robin's reaction had been genuine and not, perhaps, scripted, the production company could have just edited the scene out, in order to avoid more "drama" with more people reacting on the situation. But no, Jiwan's full audition had been shown both on TV and uploaded online on PGT's official YouTube account. In retrospect, are we, the netizens, the ones getting played here?
the verdict
However, at the end of the day, if I didn't nit-pick on Jiwan's language, I wouldn't have much to work with as to explaining how and why he had to endure such humiliation. I just think that the 'scolding could've been done differently, nicely. As petty a detail as Jiwan's question, "Robin, can I use you?" that's the only moment that which I thought was a direct cause of Robin's actions.
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... but hey, it's just a theory, a tv show theory!... and, cut!...
Notes from the author:
![Picture](/uploads/4/7/4/6/47468977/editor/facebook-clipart-icon-transparent-1.png?1590595740)
![Picture](/uploads/4/7/4/6/47468977/editor/20-203688-twitter-icon-transparent-background-twitter-logo-hd-png.png?1590596092)
![Picture](/uploads/4/7/4/6/47468977/editor/download-instagram-png-logo-20.png?1590596083)
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