There were a significat amount of times during this past year wherein my anxiety cells seem to be turned off during the times when it should be on its peak capacity. Let's say a worrying situation arises, as they happened to have done an unusual number of times during this past year in particular, and being the worrier that I am. I know it in my guts that this situation should make me anxious. I should be trembling in fear right now. I should be crying. In some of those situations, the implications of the "would-be" negative situation should be enough to veer me into a panic attack wherein half of my body starts going pale and numbs against feeling.
It is unusual because in a few other occasions wherein the situation (in hindsight) was less imminent than the ones I'm trying to imply, I tended to suffer from all the symptoms I just described. As a hypothetical example, let's say I was afraid of getting any type of wounds on my skin because I scar easily. Therefore, I would be careful around new books in case I get a paper cut, as well as with the kitchen knife when I'm cooking. However, comparing my anxiety levels on the possibility of getting hurt on both situations, I feel more anxious around paper than I do when working the knife while cooking. It doesn't make sense really especially when I'm well aware that a knife injury would be much more severe than a paper-cut. It doesn't make sense how careful I act around paper while be casually relaxed cutting vegetables in the kitchen. It's almost like I know for a fact that nothing bad is going to happen with the kitchen knife. I'm somehow sure of it. On the other hand, I don't feel any of that reassurance working with paper and that is why I am anxious-- even if/when I do get a paper-cut, it probably wouldn't be serious enough to result in an overgrown scar. It's perplexing, really, but, to be honest, during those times in the previous year wherein a huge anxiety-causing situation appeared-- nothing horrendously bad happened, as if proving my gut feeling of there being no need to feel anxiety, right. Sure, during some of those times, things did not go as planned and/or things fell short but never did any of them result in the absolute worst-case scenario that my mind is good at conjuring up even for the smallest of anxieties. My gut feeling was actually right?! Fascinating. However, I'd like to think of it more that maybe, it's divine intervention, in a way something of a wholesome prank from God. And like truly wholesome pranks, they are designed to spur someone into action and to alleviate a reaction whilst not really harming nor injuring the participant in a severe way. Sure, as the pranked, you might get soiled and maybe suffer a cut or two but alive and well nonetheless. . . . Now, another possible knife-cut situation has arisen but once again, I don't feel as anxious as my rational brain tells me I should be. I'm strangely calm and clear-headed. It's weird but I'm not complaining.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Notes from the author: If you'd like to have a conversation with me about anything I've written in this blog, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, memes, or anything at all, slide into my DMs at:
![]() ![]() ![]() The cover artwork featured above is used with special permission from IG: @squackoud
Special hashtags to watch out for:*** the following are specialised blog entries that have no set schedule compared to the usual bi-weekly postings.
#WednesdayWritings - drabbles, poetry, prose, short stories--- creative and expressive writing in no one's style.
#ThrowbackThursday - the cringey, the I-did-that? moments, the tear-inspiring, and the embarrassing moments of the past gone by--- available only here so shhhh...
#FreeThoughtFriday - a collection of 3AM thoughts for your collective amusement and might get you asking wtf?!
to see older posts:To view some of my older posts, there is a "previous" button hiding just below the bottom left corner of the last post of this page.
Categories
All
Archives
October 2022
|